When the sadness hits
I light candles in our apartment.
They flicker like birthday candles
For the years I might not see
If the pills,
If life,
Are stronger than me.
But sometimes the candles are like fireflies
Like mason jar lanterns,
Like hope.
The candle wax drips onto the bookcase
And I promise I will clean it up later
Because there will be a later.
I’ve been in this thing so long
I wear it like a blanket,
Something that whispers to me
And I believe it.
People call it darkness,
They call it hard times.
But it really is
A drug, a habit, an imbalance.
I watch the candles burn
Like tiny fires
And I write.
I watch the candle wax drip
And I promise I will clean it up later
But for now, I write.
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